


the issue with oversharing

by magznus



Series: TPP [12]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Late night talks, Panic Attacks, Peter is only there for a moment, buddy is in fact Juno's therapist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:01:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25905517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magznus/pseuds/magznus
Summary: "Buddy?" His voice was barely a whisper."I'm right here darling." She crouched down then, into his line of sight. "Juno it's alright, you just need to breathe."Juno shook his head because no, that wasn't right. That wasn't what he needed."Nureyev, I need Nureyev. I don't, where is he?"Buddy looked confused. "Who?"
Relationships: Buddy Aurinko & Juno Steel, Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Series: TPP [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1639732
Comments: 11
Kudos: 150





	the issue with oversharing

Juno could no longer tell where he was, only that he was on the ground and rapidly losing himself to a panic attack. Someone stood above him, hovering at a careful distance as they seemed to be trying to help. He caught a glimpse of their hair, falling in front of his face where they were bent over. Bright red, long and perfectly styled.  
"Buddy?" His voice was barely a whisper.  
"I'm right here darling." She crouched down then, into his line of sight. "Juno it's alright, you just need to breathe."  
Juno shook his head because no, that wasn't right. That wasn't what he needed.  
"Nureyev, I need Nureyev. I don't, where is he?"  
Buddy looked confused. "Who?"  
Juno froze, the panic he had been feeling turned to ice as he looked into Buddy's eyes. She was watching him carefully, not touching him as she moved to fully sit down.  
"I...it doesn't...doesn't matter, never mind"  
"Juno, darling-"  
"Please Buddy, please just...forget it." Juno tried to keep his voice steady and convincing even as it broke and tears he had been holding back began to fall.  
"Alright Juno, okay" she sighed and scooted closer "let's focus on you. Come on darling, let's just breathe okay?" Buddy smiled softly at him before holding her hands out in-between them.  
He followed her lead, counting each finger she raised as he breathed in, holding his breath along with her before releasing it as she lowered each finger again. It was a routine, one Buddy had taught him the first time she had found him in the middle of a panic attack. She led him through until he was able to take in full breaths again on his own.  
In the aftermath, Juno was left shaking and crying on the floor of the Carte Blanche's kitchen. Buddy was still watching him carefully as he fully came back to himself.  
He looked around to find a plate shattered on the floor a few feet away. Now that he wasn't hyperventilating he could feel where a few of the shards had cut through the skin of his palm when he had tried to clean up before anyone saw.  
Buddy had also noticed and had reached forward, carefully grabbing his hands and inspecting the wounds. She didn't say a word as she gently prodded at the cuts, pulling out a small shard of ceramic still stuck in his skin.  
"Why don't we move to the bathroom?"  
*****  
After Buddy helped to clean his hands, she had led Juno into the common room, gently pushing him onto the couch before disappearing back into the kitchen. He had calmed down enough by then that the sound of glass being scraped across the floor and into a dustpan only made him jump for a second.  
Juno was glad that it was almost three am in that moment, the ship was silent save for the quiet sounds of Buddy moving around in the kitchen. And he knew that no one was going to barge in and see him sitting alone on the couch, tear tracks now dried on his face as he wrapped a heavy blanket around himself.  
Soon enough Buddy had returned, now with two mugs of what smelled like hot chocolate.  
"Are you feeling better darling?" She handed him one of the mugs.  
"Yeah, um thank you."  
"No need to thank me, that's what family does."  
Juno laughed bitterly into his mug. "Not in my experience."  
Buddy looked sad, "I know."  
They sat in silence after that. Neither speaking as they sipped their hot chocolate. The room had a large window that Juno found himself staring out. He watched peacefully as they drifted through space, something that he knew he never would have been able to do only a year ago.  
"Juno?" Buddy's voice finally broke the silence.  
"Hm?"  
"I...well I'm not sure how to ask this darling. You weren't entirely coherent at the time, but I do need to know. Who is Nureyev?"  
Oh right, Juno had forgotten about that.  
"Um, well he's you know...I don't."  
"Darling," Buddy gave him a look.  
And in that moment Juno could tell. She knew everything. If she had known before tonight, if she had an idea and he had just confirmed it for her, it didn't matter. Buddy knew.  
"Listen, Buddy, it was an accident okay? I wasn't thinking straight and I don't even really remember all of it. Don't focus on my dumb panic-induced jibberish."  
Buddy stared at him for a moment, "you know darling, I've learned the difference between panic-induced jibberish, and calling out for someone you care about when you're scared."  
"I don't know what to tell you, Buddy"  
"The truth would suffice."  
"And if I can't?"  
"Well, that would be quite the dilemma. I've known the name Peter Nureyev for quite some time you know? It's an incredibly famous name, especially on the outer rim. Of course, no one knows who Peter Nureyev actually is. There are theories, some people don't think he was anything more than a hoax, others believe it's a pseudonym for this or that great thief of our time. No one has ever known for sure. For a time I was obsessed with finding him, someone talented enough to take down an entire government in a single day would be quite an ally.  
Of course, I didn't all the research, but it wasn't until about six months ago that I found a connection that I had missed every single time I had looked through the known events of that day. Everyone who was let into that building was screened. Hundreds of people walked through those doors before they locked down, so I never once stopped to look at the father and son that seemed to enter and never leave. That was until our very own Peter Ransom arrived. It's a strange coincidence, isn't it? Peter Ransom enters, Peter Nureyev leaves. And here we are, 20 years later. You're in a relationship with Peter Ransom and yet, it's Peter Nureyev who you are calling out for when you're having a panic attack at three am." Buddy smiled "Now Juno, is there anything I missed?"  
Juno sat there dumbly, he had figured Buddy had a general idea about Peter, not his entire life story.  
“Well, I mean no. I just.”  
Buddy smiled, “You really didn’t think I would let someone into my family without having extensively researched them? I needed the best, I found the best. It’s only a bit of a set back that he seems insistent on keeping up an illusion, and I still haven’t the slightest idea why.”  
“Yeah, I’ve asked him that myself, but it’s his secret and it’s not my place to just, tell people. Listen Buddy I trust you, but with this...Just don’t hurt him okay?”  
“I would never, Juno-”  
“I know it’s just, his past isn’t something he’s very proud of. And you can’t just throw it at him that you know. Hell, it took us almost dying in a cave for him to tell me.”  
Buddy smiled sadly, “I am well aware of Pete’s...issues with sharing. Don’t you worry I’m not planning on springing this on him any time soon, hopefully, he will feel comfortable enough to come to me about it. But I know that is still going to take some time. Peter Nureyev doesn’t seem like the sort of person to easily trust, and I’m honestly quite curious about what you did to gain that trust.”  
Juno laughed. “Honestly I’m not sure myself.”  
“Well, I think that can be a conversation for another night. It’s almost morning and we both need to get at least a little sleep.”  
Juno cringed, releasing just how late it was and how much of Buddy’s night he had taken up. “Yeah, sorry.”  
“Don’t apologize.” Buddy stood up from the couch and he followed. “Just go get some sleep.”  
She gently heard him out into the hallway before he could manage to start cleaning up their mugs. Knowing it was a fight he always lost Juno just waved goodnight and headed in the direction of the room he shared with Nureyev.  
It was almost four-thirty in the morning, and as he opened the door, Juno could see the sleeping form of Peter Nureyev. He had turned in his sleep so that he was almost taking up the entire bed, his back was turned to the door. Juno could remember the first few times they had ever slept in the same bed. Each time no matter how casual Nureyev had tried to be, even in his sleep he had slept on his side, in a straight line. facing the door. Always ready to bolt even in sleep. Now Juno watched as he lay spread out like an octopus across the bed, completely relaxed in a way he almost never was.  
Peter Nureyev was a man with more baggage than no one person could carry, and Juno knew that it was going to take time for him to be ready to be himself. But right then, as he wiggled his way under Nureyev’s arm while he slept on, Juno was confident that one day he would be ready to let the world see Peter Nureyev.

**Author's Note:**

> comments are much appreciated


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